This Poker Life

TGF Poker

2011-08-06T09:16:00.001-07:00

Start Earning NOW!

2010-05-08T01:19:00.000-07:00

Whether you are a successful online marketer or has been juggling your days with offline businesses here and there, earning more is always a welcoming idea. Or perhaps your are searching for a solid partner for pleasure while at the same time, generating profits. Sounds too good to be true, right?

Actually, this is possible. Online poker is the answer. And take note, play with the best that offers rakeback. To get a good start, apply as an affiliate. The best program for this? Of course, no other than Bodog.

Joining is easy. Just visit bodogaffiliate.com and fill up the application form. Being new to it, you are advised to read the “comments” area so you will get a glimpse of how it all evolves, as well as pay attention to details and information. Upon signing up, you will be contacted after three business days. There's nothing much for you to do until then but wait.

As soon as you are accepted into the program, you will be provided with a commission structure and will receive a start-up package or better known as the “welcome” package which includes content tools and access codes to everything you will need.

Earning comes in the moment you spend traffic at Bodog. Month after month, you will get statement of earnings through the program's online report. All commissions earned is processed every 15th day of each month.

What are you waiting for, sign up now and let your earnings roll!

How to Calculate Commissions

2010-04-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

In poker especially with Bodog, there are two commission options. First is $100 for every depositing account. It is when you earn $100 as per player who joins Bodog. Second, 25% to 40% of net revenues. From poker room, casino, sportsbook, and racebook, you will have 250% to $40 of its net revenue garnered each month.

For poker wages, sportsbook and casino, the net revenue is computed based on the gross revenue minus complimentary money, charge backs, other incentives and free money being offered to customers.

Meanwhile, for poker, computation for net revenue is considered as the overall total of the players' contribution to “rakes” while playing in the poker room, minus charge backs, any credits such as promotional amounts or bonus, or noncollectable revenue credited to the player.

Finally, for racebook, calculation of net revenue is based on the total gross money produced from the customers minus the money paid to customers as licensing fees, winnings, bonuses, charge backs, incentives and frauds.

Be a BODOG Affiliate

2010-04-20T09:28:00.008-07:00

Joining Bodog's Affiliate Program is free. First thing to do is to fill out the application form at http://www.bodogaffiliate.com/join/ and after three business days, you will be notified if you get in the program. An email will be sent to you which contains your affiliate ID. Your ID will serve as your access to text links, banners and other marketing tools and content that you can associate in your website.

As part of the Bodog Affiliate Program, you will be earning commissions as an added benefit for referring players to Bodog by means of text links, banners and through other site contents. Consider it a plus, bringing in additional income apart from the As part of the Bodog Affiliate Program, you will be earning commissions as an added benefit for referring players to Bodog by means of text links, banners and through other site contents. Consider it a plus, bringing in additional income apart from the traffic you have on your site.

Open an account now with us you will receive daily stats, rake race promos, and the highest percentage rakeback of, contact support@rakebackstats.net

Rakeback and its Importance to You

2010-01-22T04:00:00.003-07:00

Have you heard of the term rakeback?

For serious online poker players, they already know what rakeback is. For the newbies, they probably have heard of this but may still be asking the question what a rakeback is. To understand this term, one must break the word into: “rake” and “back.” First understand what rake is. When playing online poker games, the house takes a percentage of each hand for itself—this is called a rake, and this is how they earn their money. The word rakeback then is getting a portion of the rake you paid to these online poker sites. The rakeback varies from site to site—so you actually have the option to choose where to play online poker that maximizes your rakeback earnings.

At RakebackStore.com, we return a portion of that fee back to your poker account. How can we do this? We have long-established relationships with all the poker rooms listed on our site and can offer players unique deals not found anywhere else. These are reliable, approved deals endorsed by the poker rooms as an added incentive for players to choose their site. There are absolutely no hidden fees. Everything you earn in rakeback is in addition to normal perks associated with a regular online poker account. To take advantage of rakeback you must sign up via one of our signup pages using our links and codes and not have a pre-existing account or be linked to a Refer-a-friend or other promotion.

More About Rakeback

Poker sites monitor the players activities per month. If the player signed up through an affiliate, which advertises the site so that more players come in—that affiliate is paid a percentage for introducing the player to the online poker site. When these affiliates give a large percentage of that money back to the players, that is called rakeback. This way, it will be a win-win situation for both parties. Nobody loses as each gets a percentage of the rakeback given by these online poker sites that are earning quite a good amount of money in their operations.

How much money can one make from rakeback?

For most of us who are interested of the getting the most of our money, this is very important. Since the amount you get paid is a percentage of the money the house charged you for the rake, for the stakes that you played and for the number of hands you played—these affect the size of your pay. An ordinary low limit player can make a few hundred dollars a month, while any higher level player can make as much as $3000 or even higher.

So you see, if you sign up directly for a site without getting a rakeback is not a very wise move. Therefore, getting a rakeback is probably the most important strategy a poker player must learn. If you don’t take it seriously, you are leaving the opportunity of making a lot of money on the table every month.

Black Chip Poker

2009-03-09T22:45:00.007-07:00

4k Freeroll

2008-07-26T14:27:00.002-07:00

What is a freeroll? A freeroll is a poker tournament where you stand to win real money even though you do not risk a dime. Why do we offer a 4k freeroll for new players? This is our promotion to attract new players who may be interested in playing online. If you win you may want to hang around and beat up on the competition.
Playing online poker can be a fun hobby and some people even turn it into a full-time or summer job. There are several advantages to playing online including saving on gas, tips, better game selection, almost no wait time and the ability to multi-table for maximum value.
Online poker may not be the social event playing live provides but if you like poker and you can beat the game there is no better place to play.
The online poker promotions are plentiful, especially at Cake Poker where we provide a 4k freeroll as a courtesy just for you to visit the site and see what it is all about. No deposit or play is required.
To be eligible for our 4k freeroll in August you need to set up a Cake Poker account in July. Just go to our site and Set up a Cake Poker account
Then on August 11th at 9:30EST just log-in to the Cake Poker client and visit Tournaments / My Tournaments. Double click the ticket to register and the game begins! You could win over $1,000 with absolutely no risk!
In addition if you choose to play after you win some money at the freeroll you will receive 33% rakeback paid to your poker account. You will not find a better offer anywhere - guaranteed.
Also, if you refer any players to Cake Poker you receive 4% of their revenue for life so if you know anyone who might want to win $1,000 with no risk set up a Rakeback Store account with us today at RakebackStore.com

Freeroll 3k Cake Poker

2008-05-06T16:13:00.003-07:00

To qualify for a 3k freeroll at Cake Poker just add me at Facebook in May

If you do not have a Cake Poker account yet with us you can set one up here - Cake Poker 33% Rakeback

The freeroll is June 9th at 9:30PM

Contact us if you have any questions.

Cake Poker Rakeback RakeRace and Freeroll!

2008-03-18T16:01:00.002-07:00

Cake Poker is the fastest growing US Poker site because of the great game selection and awesome promotions. The Rakeback Store has sweetened the pot even more with 33% rakeback, a 2k freeroll (only 100 raked hands gets you qualified) and for high volume players the added value of a rake race which could win you another $500. This is all in addition to Cake Poker's 1st depositor freeroll and 100% up to $500 bonus and numerous WSOP qualifiers. If you want a poker site with great action and bonuses that accepts ePassporte and US players don't wait - sign up at Cake Poker now.

2k Freeroll + Rakeback + Sign up Bonus

2007-09-03T00:30:00.001-07:00

Maximize all 3 of these online poker promotions in one place with an exclusive 2k Freeroll provided by The Rakeback Store at Cake Poker. The 2k Freeroll will be in October for new and existing Cake Poker players who play at least 5k raked hands. This freeroll is in addition to 33% rakeback and a 100% up to $500 bonus! Sign up for all 3 (rakeback, sign up bonus and freeroll) here: Cake Poker 2k Freeroll, Rakeback and 100% up to $500 Sign up Bonus!

Real Poker Training

2007-08-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

A great way to get started playing online poker is to have a poker coach. Even winning players can fine tune their games and increase their profits with the right guidance. I've looked around and the best poker coaching site by far is Real Poker Training. You won't find a more simple straight forward approach to improving all aspects of your game.

The Rakeback Store is also offering a free month subscription.

If you get rakeback and coaching you won't need to be lucky :)

Cake Poker Referrals Now 4%

2007-07-26T00:33:00.000-07:00

To reward those of us who are staying in the US and playing poker The Rakeback Store is offering 4% for new Cake Poker referrals starting August 1st. (Any July signups will be bumped to 4% in August) You don't even have to be a member of The Rakeback Store to refer players. You can Contact The Rakeback Store and they will set up a member account for you which allows you to refer players and earn your 4%. You can cashout your earnings daily via ePassporte or directly to your Cake Poker account or any of the major poker sites. Cake Poker is a increasingly popular US site and with The Rakeback Store you will receive the highest allowed % of rakeback allowed on the Cake Poker network - 33%.

Cake Poker Rakeback Sign up

12k Prize Package at Cake Poker

2007-07-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

At Cake Poker you now have a chance to win a $12K prize pack to WPT tournaments in the Turks and Caicos!

The prize package:

WPT Turks & Caicos Main Event $7500 (+$200) Seat September 25-30, 2007
7 Nights Accommodation at Club Med, Turquoise (September 24th to October 1st)
$1800 Cash paid directly to your CakePoker account to help with travel costs

2 Freeroll Tournaments for any new or existing players from The Rakeback Store

The qualifications for the Freerolls are as follow:

For July:
New players Rakeback Store players signing up between July 1st and July 31st who play a minimum of 250 raked hands will be automatically entered into this Freeroll.
Existing Players who play a minimum of a 1000 raked hands will be automatically entered as well.
The tourney will be held on Sunday, Aug 5th at 3pm est.
For August:
New Rakeback Store players signing up between Aug 1st and Aug 31st and play a minimum of 250 raked hands will be automatically entered into this Freeroll.
Existing Players who play a minimum of a 1000 raked hands will be automatically entered as well.
The tourney will be held on Sunday, Sept 9th at 3pm est.
**Players can also log into their account and click on the Stats button in the “my account” section to see their raked hands. Cake will be entering players into the freeroll every Sunday so players will know that they have qualified. Players will receive an email each Monday with a reminder of the particulars.
Sign up at Cake Poker

From the above link you will also get the maximum allowed rakeback of 33%!

Cake Poker Introduces Omaha Hi Lo

2007-06-06T21:59:00.001-07:00

Any time a poker site starts a new game it is a good idea if you know how to play that game well to sit in and see if the games are soft. Cake introduced Omaha Hi Lo this week and I sat in on a few games and they were very soft. I bought for $100 to the 50 cent dollar PL game and one guy I noticed was playing really loose. He would re-buy for $100 and make crazy attempts to build it up and would have wild swings. When I had AA27 I came over the top of his pot sized pre-flop raise and he put all his chips in - about $80 bucks - he had AKT5. Both of us had one nut flush draw. We were head up pre-flop. He won the hand with kings and tens. I was up $100 at the time so this set me back to up only $20. I was in a good spot so wasn't disappointed and hoped he would stay around. Going all-in pre-flop with AA2X in my opinion is a good idea almost all of the time. Anyway, about 1/2 later I caught broadway on the turn and he called a $50 bet and and all-in bet on the river and he was caught a bad low on the river - a very bad low and he had no other draw. A few minutes later I limped in with ATTK. The same maniac raised it to 6.50 and normally I would fold but since the maniac was liable to go all-in with anything I thought it would be good to call and see if I could catch a flop. The flop came 10,5,4 rainbow. The one other caller bet the pot. I called and the maniac called. The turn came a 4 giving me a full house and it was checked to me and I bet $85 and the maniac called all-in holding A335. The other player had A35T so they both had the same draw for a quarter of the pot.

Nice thing about Cake Poker is they have a feature where you can look at the previous hand and even create a custom web page for it. Here are the previous 2 HH for the previously mentioned hands.

1. All-in with AKT5

2. All-in Draw for a 1/4 of the pot misses

Lucky for me I didn't tilt on the first few beats or I wouldn't have been in position to win a nice pot later on.

Interested in Cake Poker? Get an extra 33% rakeback at The Rakebackstore

Cake Poker - New US Site

2007-05-30T22:34:00.000-07:00

Cake Poker is a new US site that is really taking off. Cake has great games and the best bonus system of any online poker site. You can play unlimited number of tables at Cake, the software is very good, they have a 100% up to $500 sign up bonus and freerolls and new promotions coming all the time. In addition to all Cake's promotions if you sign up with The Rakeback Store you also get 33% rakeback, one of the highest rakeback offers currently available online. To sign up at this new US site simply go to this page Cake Poker sign up info

Cake Poker rakeback is paid by the 10th each month directly to your poker account so as long as you sign up via the link above you will get 33% rakeback as an added bonus.

CakePoker is also giving you a free shot at winning a $10,000 seat into this year's main WSOP event. In fact, they are going to give you 12 shots!
Each prize pack includes a seat into the $10,000 buy-in Main Event (July 6-17, 2007 at the Rio All Suite Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada) and $2,000 for airfare and accomodations.
How do you win a $12,000 WSOP Prize Package?
Every Sunday at 5pm ET you'll find a multi table tournament called 'WSOP $12k Prize Pack' in the poker lobby. To play in this main event you'll need to either qualify for a seat or buy directly in for $100. The lucky winner of this tourney will receive the $12k WSOP prize pack.

We're going to give you 5 easy ways to win a seat into the Sunday WSOP Main Event:
Freeroll satellites
Cash satellites – Sit & Go's
Cash satellites – MTT's
Gold chip tournaments
Direct $100 buy-in to Sunday final

Don't forget to sign up Here for your additional 33% rakeback at Cake Poker. Rakeback is an additional bonus and costs you nothing extra!

Bodog and Rakeback

2007-05-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

Some sites do not allow public advertising of rakeback. Bodog is one of these poker sites that does not advertise rakeback. The games are very good at Bodog due to not advertising rakeback as well as being attached to a Sportsbook. Bodog attracts gamblers and non-conservative poker players which makes for great games. If you have a current Bodog account you will not be allowed to sign up a new account, but if you are signing up a new account you should contact The Rakeback Store Bodog is the site I most recommend now for US players because I think they still have the best online poker games. By best I mean easiest to beat.

NETeller VS the FBI

2007-01-27T04:30:00.000-07:00

The FBI arrested 2 former founders of NETeller and now NETeller funds are frozen up for US citizens. Not only is NETeller not accepting funds from online gambling sites and not depositing funds to online gambling sites, but as of now US citizens can not even withdraw their funds from NETeller! There are no available options to withdraw funds. With all the heat from the government it isn't even clear if NETeller issued checks that US banks would even touch them.

If you are going to play poker in this environment don't get too much money tied up online right now. The safest option has to be Poker Stars which has always been a class act and with Poker Stars your money is completely secure. All player funds are kept in a segregated account at a leading European bank. Regardless of any developments, your money is safe and accessible at any time at Poker Stars.

I set up ePassporte the other day and funded it with a debit card and had money online in a few minutes. ePassporte is probably the safest option available right now. You can also e-mail support@pokerstars.com for instructions on how to deposit via Cashier's Check / Money Order / Bank Draft, but really who the hell wants to do that?

I'm a bit surprised that this hasn't made more headline news. Without a legal precedent, without any kind of trial even - the US government has frozen up the funds of untold thousands of its citizen's assets. Worse, shady 3rd party funding outfits are popping up over-night in an attempt to replace the once reliable NETeller.

Convert Accounts to Rakeback

2006-10-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

You may Contact Us via e-mail if you would like to get a current non-rakeback account converted to rakeback.

Absolute Poker is converting accounts for another week.

Another major site is converting accounts as well.

Jamie Gold Wins WSOP

2006-08-12T02:37:00.000-07:00

Jamie Gold, representing Team Bodog, with one tournament win has now won wore tournament money than any other professional poker player. Jamie clearly outplayed the final table and used advantage of his chip stack to take calculated chances to win the 2006 WSOP. Congrats Jamie!

An avid poker player, Gold grew up in a family of card players, with his mother, Jane, a longtime poker player and his grandfather a gin rummy champion. Gold plays close to 40 hours a week in Los Angeles-area card rooms and in the 15 months prior to the WSOP had earned just under $100,000 in tournament winnings. Gold has also had the opportunity to learn from one of the game's biggest legends – 10-time WSOP bracelet-holder Johnny Chan. The two men met while working together on a poker television concept. In exchange for Gold's assistance, Chan promised to help him refine his game. Both Gold's mother and Chan were at the WSOP cheering him on, but with Chan literally standing behind him throughout the entire final table, Gold had all the support he needed to win.
"He believed in me," Gold said. "He told me I could win this."

Full Tilt's Online Poker Series

2006-08-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

Full Tilt Online Poker Series (FTOPS)
Starting at 6PM ET on Sunday, August 13th, Full Tilt Poker launches its Full Tilt Online Poker Series where you can compete for your share of more than a million dollars in guaranteed prize money for the week. Each tournament winner will also receive a one-of-a-kind, gold Full Tilt Poker jersey in addition to their prize money.The overall FTOPS winner will also receive a custom Full Tilt Poker avatar just like the ones used by Full Tilt pros. The overall FTOPS winner will be determined using our Tournament Leaderboard for the 8 FTOPS Events. So, if you're ready to play for the FTOPS title, Sign up for the FTOPS and enter one of the nightly tournaments. Buy-ins for these events range from $200 + $16 to $500 + $35, and satellites start for as little as $6 + $.60.

Bodog Rakeback

2006-07-05T23:11:00.000-07:00

E-mail us here and we can help you sign-up for 25% rakeback at Bodog or answer any questions.

Bodog has 25% rakeback for new players so be sure to set up your new account with rakeback to get this extra bonus. This is for new Bodog accounts only.

Pensive Dog

2006-06-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

Wish I Wrote This

2006-06-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

June 09, 2006
Moronic Party Poker Chat Translated
Here's a little snippet from some actual Party Poker chat. What happened before this was some guy (we'll call him Donkey 1) put a supposed bad beat on another guy (Donkey2) and the other guy's friend (Donkey 3) joined in, as did a random 2+2er. I thought I'd paste the chat here, unedited, and then translate it for you. Actual text in black, translation in red.
Donkey2: unreal, nh (Way to bad beat me dumbass.)
Donkey1: tx (Ship it.)
Donkey3: u played that hand well lol (I wouldn’t know a well-played hand if it bit me in the ass but I'll still make a sarcastic remark to belittle someone who plays almost as badly as I do.)
Donkey1: I know (Ship it.)
Donkey2: yeah, ure supposed to chase that's good poker (I'm not mentally capable of understanding any complex poker strategy so I'll just assume that it's a mistake whenever someone puts money in without the best hand and, at the same time, use selective memory to forget that I put in four bets with a bad two pair on the river when I could have gotten away with only losing two.)
Donkey1: I had pot odds (I don't really know what pot odds are, but I won the pot so I must have had them.)
Donkey2: lol, no u didn’t fish (I don't know what pot odds are either but I lost the pot so you must not have had them.)
Donkey3: ha, he had pot odds, 5-1 on a fourouter lol (I'm too stupid to realize that because my friend put in 4 big bets on the river with two pair when it couldn't possibly be good, his opponent, who was really getting 6.5-1 with 6 outs, had more than the correct implied odds to call the turn.)
Random 2+2 Donkey: stop making fun of him, he can play however he wants, its his money (I read in a book that was written in 1985 about live-action play that making fun of people is a bad idea so I'm just going to assume that the same is true 20 years later online)
Donkey2: yeah, i don't want to chsae this fish off. keep playing fish.(I agree with this guy, making fun of bad players is a bad idea, so I'll do it some more.)
(45 minutes later Donkey1 cashes out a decent stack)
Random 2+2 Donkey: see, youre insults scared him off.

Poker Chronicles - http://www.thepokerchronicles.com/

TGF Poker - Stupid Name, Nice Site

2006-06-02T23:38:00.000-07:00

Thank God For Poker is my least favorite name for a poker site, but fast becoming one of my favorite sites. In the morning I can wake up and get in a game with a bunch of drunk Europeans who probably think they are playing Bingo.

Right now there is 200% DEPOSIT BONUS! You can earn up to $100 free when you sign-up at TGF Poker and open a new account. Click here for the TGF Poker 200% Deposit Bonus!This is a limited time offer at TGF Poker.

It is a great poker site with a lot of very BEATABLE GAMES!This site is on the well-established Boss Media Network and draws in a lot of European players who play the casinos that are attached to many of the poker sites on the network. Check out TGF Poker with this link and get 30% rakeback as well. Automatically paid into your account on the first and the bonus is not deducted.

Check Traffic at The Top Online Poker Sites

2006-05-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.pokersitescout.com/

Paradise

2006-04-09T22:47:00.000-07:00

I tried the Million Dollar Paradise Freeroll for a change of pace. About 2,700 players and top 9 get to play in the Million Dollar Thing.

I went out 22nd when I put in 75,000 in chips with 2 queens and it came around to the big blind and he called with 2 10's.

The Ending

2006-04-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

When you play a 3,500 player freeroll the odds are against you, or anyone, finishing in the top 50.

I'm sure the player yesterday going all-in every hand went busted eventually. It was a stupid strategy. He gets the blinds until a player wakes up with a hand and then most likely he loses a huge stack of chips. You simply cannot win with that strategy. He happened to knock me out when I was a big favorite.

So these posts end up turning into bad beat woes, but really the attempt is to document what happened. I know there is an end to tournaments and after playing a bunch of hands I will most likey go out having a good hand. Ironically the one time I went all-in as an underdog I happened to hit the nut flush on the turn and turned into a big favorite, only to lose when the board paired on the river.

With so many clowns and careless aggressive players in these freerolls it is kind of a joke, a lottery more than anything else. I'm sure that is how Party likes it. The less skill involved in the game the better off Party will be.

Playing ring games for a long time I know there is no end to these games, the bad beats happen, but they are not final.

A tournament has a beginning and an end so that is what is harder to swallow. If I played 50 tournaments a day I would at least get some positive reinforcement occassionally - hopefully.

But the ring games go on with no end.

I won a little bit playing a few sit and go's yesterday and cashed out of Party.

Empire Poker is now on the Party platform and has a 40% reload bonus -http://www.empirepoker.com/offers/bonus_aprilreload.html so I might hit that up.

3 Tournaments

2006-04-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

1. Had about 7k in chips with about 1,500 left. Had Aces in the little blind. First position raise. I re-raise. He goes all in with AK before the flop. Ace flops along with a queen and a 2. Turn Jack, river 10.

2. Early on I had AK of diamonds. Flop comes King high with 2 diamonds. I get raised and put my chips in. He had a set. I make the flush on the turn. Board pairs on the river.

3. I have about 8k in chips and get moved to a table with one live player who is going all-in every hand. There are no other live players at the table. Just the 2 of us. He has about 40k in chips so I figure I will let him steal some blinds and try to double up once. I wait until I get the A-7 of diamonds. He goes all-in and turns over the 9-7 of clubs. He wins when a 9 comes on the river.

Trying to Qualify in order to Qualify

2006-04-03T03:14:00.000-07:00

So another 3,500 player tournament.

I call with Q-Q in first position. Yeah I am looking to trap. It's early on and I want to go all-in with the hand.

Then a player calls and another player makes a medium-big raise - about 800 and then a donk from the small blind puts in all his chips.

I go over the top for a few more chips - and get 2 callers.

The other hands: QQ and 10-10 and the donk had 5-5 and made a straight.

The next hand I had a few chips, flopped the 2nd nut straight, but was all-in and a guy hit a gut shot for a bigger straight and I am gone.

Didn't feel bad because I had my chips in with the best of it.

Played in 6 sit and gos and won 2 of them so I made a few bucks.

Toasterhead Gets Knocked Out

2006-04-01T21:44:00.000-07:00

I'd like to blame it on the fact that I was hungover, but I would have been better off not showing up.

One time I raised the minimum with aces, the flop came Q-J-2 and I got check raised for about 700 in chips. I put the guy all-in and he has Q-J. I get lucky and catch a 2 on the river and double up, but I am not feeling so great about my play.

Then 2 players call and I'm sitting on J-J. I have over 7,000 in chips and over 1,000 players have been knocked out so I am coasting along above the average. I go all-in here, figuring nobody will call. But why? I'm risking over 7,000 in chips and my tournament life in order to to win 600. Anybody with a better hand will certainly call. As it turns out the little blind has aces and I get knocked out.

Well I had 15 chips left and went all-in the next hand.

I didn't mind last week so much because I played as well as I could and a guy got really lucky on me, but I played terrible this week and deserved to lose and it doesn't sit too well.

I eased the pain with 2 hot dogs smothered in mustard and a big bowl of ice cream with hot fudge sauce sprinkled with peanut M & M's.

Maybe if I sleep for 3 months straight I will forget about this one.

Trying to Qualify Week 2

2006-03-30T01:58:00.000-07:00

I registered for a bunch more of Party Poker freerolls. When I was checking my e-mail before bed at 2am the other night I logged in and was taken to one of the tournaments in progress. There were about 1,000 players knocked out already and I had 2,100 odd chips so I thought I'd play for a while. For the whole tournament I was at a table of players, the majority of whom did not know the first thing about poker. I managed to build up some chips by going all-in with QQ and Q-10 suited called me. Players love those suited cards. They look so pretty. I made a 15,000 raise later with AK and some lady called me with Q-J and hit a Jack. It wasn't looking to good at that point, but I doubled up again when I took AK suited against K-Q suited for all my chips and doubled up again. One player started going nuts at our table, raising every hand and I called with A-9 suited. He had 9-10 and a player overcalled with K-9. Then another player started to self-destruct, raising 4 hands in a row. I had A-5 and thought about going over the top. I should have, but folded. He had 8-5 and a player won with K-8. I would've won with the Ace and missed a nice opportunity to double up. I was kicking myself. I played tight, then went all-in with A-K and A-J came over the top of me and flopped a Jack. I was down to about 7k in chips and waiting. A player with a huge chip stack made a raise and I called for about 1/2 my chips with 6-6. I had seen him go all-in with Ace high so I was going to call if low cards came. The flop came 4-4-8 so I called when he went all-in and doubled up when he showed A-J and didn't hit. I went all-in later with 3-3 in the big blind heads up. The little blind had just called and when I went all-in he showed K-J suited and I doubled up. Then I got lucky because the blinds on either side of me left the table. And the guy on the button had a huge chip stack so I thought he would attack my blinds. He didn't, but he was crazy enough to do anything if a player called in front of him so several times I kept my big blind. When I was the small blind the same thing happened several times. Everyone folded and I raised the missing big blind and took it. I coasted like this, winning one more race with 10-10 against K-Q suited. A funny thing happened late - with about 3 players remaining a guy with about 400,000 in chips called a guy who had over a million with A-Q. The guy with over a million was going all-in every hand trying to force players out. Well, he caught a 7 on the river and knocked the guy with 400,000 plus in chips out. How stupid was that? He could have got up and gone to sleep and been playing in a tournament to get to the World Series. Instead he calls an all-in. If he had aces, he should have folded. The top 50 get-in. There is no special prize for 1st. 1-50 are the same. I went out 48th with A-10 against Q-J. So I will be playing again Saturday for a chance to freeroll to the WSOP. At least this time it only took 4 hours and I got in by playing less than one full tournament.

Qualifying

2006-03-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

This past week I decided I'd make an attempt to free-roll my way to the World Series.

Step One is a 3,500 player tournament with the top 50 players getting into Saturday's event with about another 3,500 players. First place - all events paid for at WSOP, 2-10 10,000 entry into WSOP and 11-20 a 2,000 entry into the preliminary NL Holdem event.

I've played about 10 of these freeroll tournaments in my life so I have very little experience. After playing tight in one of them and getting knocked out in the middle rounds it seemed clear to me the best strategy was to gamble and bluff a lot early in order to to build up chips and have a chance later on. If nothing else, it would prevent me from wasting a lot of time. So I got knocked out early in a few of them. No big deal.

Then I got into the top 100 in one. A player in front of me called and I went all-in with A-Q. Everybody folded. He called with Q-9. A 9 came on the river and I was out.

The next tournament I got to around 200 and a player in first position called the blinds. I went all-in with 2 jacks and he called with Q-J. A queen came on the river and I was out.

The next tournament it was still early and nobody was at our table except me and one other player fighting for the blinds. He raised, I went all-in with A-Q. He called with K-Q and a King came on the river and I was out.

The next tournament I hung on to about 150 and had played very tight at a table for a long time. I went all-in with 2 10s late. A player called with K-J. Another player over-called with K-J. An Ace and 2 small cards came on the flop. King on the turn and I was out.

Early on in the next tournament I flopped a set all-in and lost to the nut flush on the turn.

The next tournament I built up 20,000 in chips bluffing and stealing blinds. I sat on it and stayed between 20-25,000 for a long time until there were about 200 players. I limped from the small blind at one point with K-6 of clubs after 4 players called. I flopped top 2 pair and doubled up.

As time progresses these tournaments go agonizingly slower and slower. It becomes more important to survive. You have invested time. The players are generally a little better and have larger chips stacks. At any moment you could vanish so players deliberate over each decision.

I held on for a long time and then planned on making one stab at doubling up and trying from there to coast to the top 50. There was a passive player who was calling almost every hand and then large raises with very weak hands. I had no hands at all for a long time and the blinds chipped away at me as they got higher and higher. Then the player called and I went all-in behind him with A-9. The player behind me was thinking. I knew if he called he had a better hand and I was in trouble. After a while the player called with A-J. The flop came Q-9-9. An 8 on the turn. Only a ten on the river beats me at this point. No ten! I doubled up.

It was 3am now and people were getting tired and edgy. This freeroll had been going on for about 5 hours, maybe longer.

I wasn't sure if I could fold my way to the top 50 or not. The blinds came around and I had A-10 in the small blind and only 30,000 in chips. I decided to fold A-10 with only 55 players left.

After a break the short stack at the table made the offer that everyone fold to the blinds and the whole table would try to make it to the top 50. Essentially he wanted everyone to cheat. Being the short stack of course made this advantageous to him. Nobody responded to him and he got knocked out the next hand. Sweet justice.

The big blind was coming around and nobody was getting knocked out. Everybody just hanging on. Then for some reason, when the blind was only a few hands away, a player who had the blinds covered went all-in with A-3. I folded A-Q and several players with huge chips stacks called him. One of them knocked the guy out and I was in the next tournament.

I thought about how I would play a lot for my chance to freeroll an entry into the WSOP. I needed to be loose, fearless and focused. The tournament was on Saturday. I went to Yoga class to help mentally prepare. I then took a nap. I had spent probably 20 hours in order to get into this thing so I didn't want to blow it with a dumb mistake.

The first hand I was the big blind and bluffed heads up all the way through with 9 high and the player folded on the river. I made a few more bluffs with decent hands and small flop bets and ended up getting a quick 6,000 in chips. I was moved to a table and sitting behind a player who was seeing a lot of flops. Everyone folded to us twice and he would call, see a flop and bet. The second time he did this I called with nothing, no draw and an 8 high. I made a $400 raise on the turn and he folded.

The next significant hand I was dealt was K-K. I raised $400 odd chips. The blinds at this point were only $40-80 I think. The guy who was involved in too many pots had limped in so he called the raise. The flop came 10-6-6 with 2 clubs and he went all-in.

I thought about what he could have:

1. nothing

2. a Ten

3. a Flush Draw

4. a 6

Only the six in his hand put me at a disadvantage so I called. He turned over Ace-3 with no club in his hand. If I avoid the ace I double up. A 3 came on the turn. Now I avoid an Ace and a 3 and I double up.

Ace on the river and I'm out.

That was my poker week.

How was yours?

The Billionaire vs Phil Ivey

2006-03-07T06:19:00.000-07:00

Phil Ivey played Andy Beale heads up and won 16 million.

Beale seems like an interesting and nice guy, but does anybody root for a billionaire to win playing poker?

http://www.pokernews.com/news/2006/2/beal-corporation-finished.htm

Last Day For Doyles Room Rakeback

2006-03-03T16:58:00.000-07:00

If you would like 27% rakeback and a special bonus at Doyles Room today is the last day you can get it. Complete sign-up instructions as well as a confirmation e-mail have been placed on The Rakeback Store Blog http://www.rakebackstore.com/blog/

Here is the e-mail I received from Doyles Room.

Dear Affiliate,

Due to a recent management decision by Tribeca (the software provider we use for DoylesRoom.com) we will no longer be able to accept Revenue Share players from you. This WAS NOT our decision and was forced on us by Tribeca.What does this mean to you?

1. All players you have signed up prior to the end of business today will be paid as normal. We will make the revenue share payments directly to the players.
2. We will no longer be able to accept new revenue players from you after today.
3. You must remove all mention of Revenue Share or Rakeback from your web sites concerning DoylesRoom.com.

It seems that zealous affiliates have been recruiting players directly from other poker rooms on the Tribeca network in complete disregard of our rules and regulations concerning the Revenue Share program that we established. This is the main reason Tribeca has mandated we discontinue this program. Just so you know, it is not without great regret that we are canceling this program. Your efforts were amazing in recruiting players for DoylesRoom.com and we thank you for those efforts.Rest assured that you and your players will continue to be paid for your efforts on our behalf. Payments will be made to the players as promised and will be made in the next few days for the month of February.Once again, we feel extremely disappointed in the decision by Tribeca, but have no choice in the matter but to follow their wishes in this.

Best Regards,
Affiliate Team
The Doyle Brunson Poker Network

The future at Doyles Room may be very good if rakeback is not allowed so get it while you can. Playing with an approved rakeback deal at a site that doesn't allow rakeback is an ideal situation.

Multi-Table Tournament Cheater Caught

2006-03-03T04:02:00.000-07:00

Zee Justin got caught cheating for playing on 6 accounts from the same IP address in MTTs at Party Poker and they froze all the accounts he was using. He said he had $100,000 in the accounts.

I was reading his blog and around the time he got caught there was a self-congratulatory post about how he pulled himself out of a $20,000 hole in one day. There wasn't any mention of his five imaginary friends doing any of the pulling.

When I heard about it I figured he would lie or confess. I couldn't imagine what his other options might be. If I had $100,000 hanging in the balance I would come up with a pretty good story about how 5 other people sat in a room with me and played poker. These five people would think I was some kind of poker genius and thus come over to my house and get inspiration from me and feedback when I had a spare moment to enlighten them. I could see how this story may unravel quickly however as five real people would have to emerge to verify the information on the accounts.

The next option then is to fess up. "I had a nice ride. I got caught, but anybody can cheat at Party Poker. Read my book about it and I'll tell you how NOT to get caught and make millions!"

Zee Justin choose neither of these options. I'll let you read what he wrote because it is kind of confusing, hilarious and pathetic all at the same time. The sad part for me is that he has no sense of pride for what appears to be his main accomplishment in life: having deceived and cheated so many people on such a grand scale for so long. But at least he had enough pride not to apologize to the poker players he stole money from - the ones who don't cheat and rely on their own skill to win.
Zee Justin In his Own Words

For the Ladies

2006-02-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sure a lot of the ladies are interested in what I do when I'm not crushing the poker tables for huge sums of money so I'd like to take this time to tell you a little bit about myself.

I'm almost 40, often sick with a sinus infection and I have a very strong lack of interest in most things. I usually have a sink full of dirty dishes. My diet consists primarily of oatmeal, Ramen noodles and things I find in the neighborhood. Most of my time is spent either contemplating the Nature of Existence or Speculating about Important Matters. I will become irritable if disturbed when I am involved with my deep reveries.

I've never voted, don't plan to and I have not bought new clothes in 5 years. Not even socks.

Speaking of socks I've worn black socks with shorts as a fashion statement long before it was so popular with the septuagenarian crowd.

My roommate is a Metro-Sexual and I have posted his picture here. A Metro-Sexual is a straight guy that dresses and acts like a gay guy. Well, after a few drinks the lines sometimes get blurred between gay and straight, but let's just say he is a kind and generous guy. The photo posted here was from a trip to Mexico, a few days after we met.

I know the complete silence from you shy ladies is ready to erupt so please send me a photo and the time you will be in Phoenix and I will check my schedule. I should tell you up front that I am not easy, I like Chinese food and a thoughtful gift such as chocolates, flowers or a new pair of black socks is always appreciated.

Goal Number One When Playing for a Living

2006-02-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

Find a girlfriend with a good job. This is the first goal of any male heterosexual who aspires to be a professional poker player. OK you will need to play good poker and manage your money well, but invariably you will lose money at some point. You will lose a lot of money. In fact you will lose a lot of money all at once. In addition you will also lose a lot of money over a long period of time. It happens. So what then?

In the middle of a bad streak you need the kindness and loving support of a female companion. This beautiful woman should be understanding and compassionate. She will smile and say, "Things will turn around soon. Those idiots can't get lucky forever. I'll pay the rent this month. I'm going to work now. I'll get some groceries during my lunch break. Give me a good-luck kiss."

In order to soothe your troubled nerves she will prepare home-cooked meals and bend her pliable hardbody into all kinds of accommodating positions during love-making. Ahh, so where do you find this woman? What kind of woman with a good job would date a professional poker player?

This is the kind of woman you are looking for:

Lady X: Dad I just met a real nice guy and we started dating.
Dad: Oh really? That's nice honey. What's he do for a living?
Lady X: He plays poker.
Dad: Oh good. That's a relief. I thought you were going to say he was a drug dealer like that last loser you dated.
Lady X: Oh no, I kissed a lot of frogs to get to this Prince.

You see it is important to find a woman that has dated the worst kind of man and in comparison you will look like gold. When you first meet a girl inquire as to what her previous boyfriends did for a living. If she answers any of the following you might have a shot:

1. Drug Dealer
2. Cow-hide puller
3. Chuck E. Cheese Rat
4. Serial Killer

Remember being a poker player is about sound economical decisions. If a woman wants to date you in large part because you are a professional poker player then she has serious problems. This is OK. Use this to your advantage. When you win the WSOP you can dump her. Then you will have plenty of time and resources to search the world for your soulmate.

You Might Prefer the Tinfoil

2006-02-09T00:04:00.000-07:00

You will find no new poker information anywhere.

As of today the final thing about poker was said.

There is nothing left to add.

Anyway, I hate to be the one to break this but there isn't much good information out there anyway. There's a bunch of banners surrounding some old tired statements. You won't find much else.

Unless you are under the age of 13 there is no reason to start trying to play poker now. It is a profound waste of time.

And it's really not that much fun.

Here's a list of hobbies that would probably be more fun:

Paint Ball
Yoga
Juggling
Eating Tinfoil
Collecting Opera Records
Hunting Dragons
Dodgeball
Roadkill Investigator

Good luck with whatever you choose!

My Favorite Shirt

2006-02-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

I started throwing random links on my site about the same time I stopped writing.

I bumped into some odd things...

This is a t-shirt I like.

The Obscure Poker Raffle

2006-02-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

I like Celebrity Poker Challenge. For one thing I would feel guilty if I didn’t because they are playing for charity and sneering at this show would be like booing at the Special Olympics. Can you imagine a guy at the Special Olympics hooting from the cheap seats because the mentally-challenged aren’t running very fast, or in a perfectly straight line? Same thing with the Celebrities on this show - they are doing the best they can and I’m not going to berate them because they are not world champion players.

Celebrity Poker Challenge is a TV show on Bravo. I’m not sure all the times it airs, but I usually end up watching it about 3am. Each week 5 celebrities play a No Limit Holdem tournament and the winner moves on until only one player remains. All the prize pool money is given to charities of the celebrities choosing. The commentators for the show are professional poker player/zillionaire Phil Gordon and a guy named David Foley, whose is not so well known for his TV acting parts on "From the Earth to the Moon" and “The Lawrenceville Stories” and “Echoes in the Darkness” and “Anne of Avonlea”.

After seeing a Texas Holdem kit at the grocery store a while back I wondered what was next. How far could it go? America’s obsession with Poker and Celebrities was destined to collide. Finding this show at 3am on Bravo floating amid the late night air waves alongside TV Land, over-zealous preachers and the latest fitness product/self-improvement/easy-riches promotions appears to be the inevitable handiwork of Fate. But I must warn you up front that the show is not very appropriately named. I often have a hard time recognizing a celebrity at the table. One week had the stellar line-up of Kathleen Madigan, Billy Brochtrup, Dule Hill, Kelli Williams and Carlos Bernard. If you tuned in 2 weeks later you would have witnessed the star power of Jeremy London, Ian Gomez, Alison Sweeney, Wendy Pepper and Camryn Maheim. Very few of them have any poker skill whatsoever and often the game stops in mid-play as one of the rules, such as how much you can bet in No Limit Holdem, are explained. I don’t blame Bravo for calling the show Celebrity Poker Challenge. It’s not accurate, but it is probably easier to market than a show called The Little-Known Card Lottery Blunderfest.

In truth a few good poker players and some real celebrities show up on a few of the shows. Ben Affleck and James Woods fit into both categories, however the majority of the time Phil Gordon’s play-by-play is akin to watching Gary Kasparov narrate kindergarten kids playing chess. You can picture it something like this: “Oh my a terrible move by Bobby as has left his Queen exposed, that will be curtains for him. Wait a minute, Sally didn’t see it. Unbelievable! For some inexplicable reason she decided to move her knight to the corner of the board and passed on this opportunity to cripple Bobby…she says the knight looks better over there…Now Bobby has a check-mate opportunity…Bobby is thinking…” Of course this is poker and not chess so anybody can win on any given night. Neither Ben Affleck or James Woods made could survive the first round.

The “celebrities” have fun and you won’t see a lot of chip riffling and stare-downs here. The famous guy, um, I forget his name, but he is the guy who added biting comedic commentary to that MTV show that provided a nostalgic look at the pop-culture of the 1970ies and 1980ies. I think the show was called, Remember the 80ies. Anyway, that guy once reverently pulled out a lucky autographed picture of his idol David Copperfield in order to influence the God of Magic. It worked too! For a while anyway. But he eventually lost, tore up the photo and spat on it in disgust.

Once players lose they are not allowed to leave, but are sentenced to the Loser’s Lounge where Phil Gordon sympathizes and offers instructional advice and David Foley helps them get drunk as they watch the rest of the show play out. Anyway, I think you get the idea. If you find yourself awake at 3AM and you’re tired of The Brady Bunch and The Munsters and you are not yet willing to let Anthony Robbins unleash your inner-power, switch over to The Celebrity Poker Challenge for some laughs. The show is also on at some hours where normal people watch TV too, but I think it plays better at 3AM.

Did Ultimate Bet get Taken by a Couple Teenagers?

2006-01-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

UB Gets Robbed

Fat Possums Come out After Midnight

2006-01-11T03:44:00.000-07:00

Don Daniels read every page in the newspaper front to back every day. At least he tried to. But he never would start with the next day when he didn't finish. He would always pick up where he left off so he was alway falling a little bit farther behind. I met him in Saint Louis playing $20-40 Hold'em. He had emphysema, but when it was put to a vote he voted to keep smoking in the casinos because he thought it was good for the game. He didn't want to wait while players took cigarette breaks.

I never saw Don upset at the table. Many players would beat him with poor starting hands or bad draws and almost everyone would be compelled to apologize. Don would always reply, "Don't be sorry," and smile. He always had a sharp soft-spoken remark that drifted by most people, but was often hilarious if you caught it. One comment he said a few times, which I didn't get at first, was this - fat possums come out after midnight.

I was reading books, trying to learn Hold'em and after work I'd drive to the Admiral, a boat parked on the Mississippi River and I'd play poker all night. Don was almost always there, sitting at an empty table reading a paper, waiting for a game to start.

He greeted everybody. He really liked to play poker. Early in the evening the games were tight. Players who had lost recently were determined to play better and win. But towards the end of the night a few players would start to wear down, take bad beats. Sometimes it happened slowly. They started playing too many hands. They got tired. Strange things would happen with the cards. It was inevitable because more things were happening because more people were playing more hands so strange things were bound to happen. Huge pots, gut shots, huge hands getting beat.

In the middle of the night people would make more and more mistakes. The drinks would start coming. One of the drunks would play every hand. One lady could never fold and called everybody, even though she was a psychic by trade and the inevitable "you didn't know what I had?" joke fell on her tired ears a million times. Around midnight the people who were losing started figuring out they were lonely, depressed, old, alone, whatever - and most of them let it affect how they played. How could they not?

Don Daniels was one of the few people I played poker with regularly that I never saw go on tilt. I figured out what he meant by fat possums come out after midnight, but it was a long time after I left Saint Louis before I did.

Now for some reason I was just wondering if he ever caught up to the present reading all those newspapers.

DD Poker No-Limit Holdem Software Game

2006-01-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

This poker game was given to me for a review so I'm trying my hand at this. I think I may have found a new job so if you guys at Microsoft want to send me the new X-Box and some games I promise to do more reviews.

DD Poker is a tournament Poker Program for no-limit Texas Holdem. You can practice against the computer or play online against other opponents.
Introduction:
I’ve played a lot of Holdem, but not so many tournaments and with a game like this I was able to learn a lot about the strategy for tournaments because I could see a lot of hands in a short period of time. What I learned pretty quickly is that the majority of the time you do not need much of a hand to win. Be aggressive, bluff a lot. I think that is a good strategy, as long as you do not commit too many chips to the pot and are able to get off of a hand. At first, I ran over the games with some very aggressive play. When I turned up the skill level to high and got in a big tournament I had a harder time as the players would start to check raise and bluff. I bet a wired pair of sevens into a board of 2-4-Q rainbow and a pre-flop raiser raised me with 7-8! Either a maniac or a fairly astute player that had picked up on my aggressive play.
Player Guides
For brand new players this program is a wonderful introduction to the game. There are pop-up bubbles that will introduce new things as they happen and guide you through learning every facet of the game. The blinds, the betting structures, etc. In addition, there are tools which will show you your hand strength and a calculator that will determine pot odds for you. Not only will it introduce you to the game, but it will help you learn strategy. You can use cheat options to see players cards, view the odds for any given hand or set up hands and run them through a simulator up to 10 million times.
Skill Levels
There are 5 types of players the computer mixes into the games. Solid, Rock, Maniac, Fish and Weak-Tight. It makes for some interesting games, but on average I think the players fold too frequently on the flop and sometimes they call with very weak hands out of the blinds. Maybe it is set up like this so you can see a lot of flops. My flop percentage has been around 44% so it keeps the game fun. However, it is not easy to win the tournaments because when the limits go up it becomes much less predictable.
Design
Almost every option has been thought of in the design of this game. The pop-ups can be helpful, but you can click them off so they are not annoying. You can vary the speed of the game so you can stop, think and learn as much as you want or have the cards flash out almost immediately. You can pause the game at all-ins and there are many “cheat options”, which can serve as valuable learning tools, such as the option to see all the player’s cards.
Game Play
There is good music and I like the feel of the game. The mechanics of raising and betting are simple and easily done. The only thing missing for me was that the players only have names and avatars would have been an easier way to track players and help remember their betting patterns.
Other Options
In the Practice Mode there are 15 tournaments you can play, from heads-up, to 10 person satellites to a 5,619 2005 World Series Event. I only played the Practice mode. There is also an Online Mode where you can join online games. Every time I checked there was a game available. The other mode is a Clock Mode and that would let you host your own tournament, tell you when to raise the blinds and how to calculate the prize money.
Support
There is an online support center and a Forum you can join at any time. You can set up games with other players or ask questions. I posted a question in the Forum that was replied to within the hour by one of the guys who I think helped develop the game.
Conclusion:
This is the most effective program I’ve encountered for helping someone learn how to play No-Limit Hold Tournaments. And it is thoroughly enjoyable. Everything about DD Poker reveals an attention to detail and masterfully thoughtful simulation of real poker that you will not find in your average video game.

The Irish Hammer

2006-01-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

My former neighbor, Steve, invited me to a New Year' Day poker tournament at his brother-in-law's house. He played well, drank heavily and finished 2nd out of a field of about 30. He plays online a bit and is getting better. After the tournament, he proceeded to have a few more beers and run over the side game his brother-in-law was in. He then watched as the defeated players sullenly grouped on one table as it grew dark. They were not smiling. They were trying to scrape back their tournament investments. Steve had a few more beers and started mulling over how he could market his recent winnings. Within earshot of the Loser's Table, he came up with a few book titles: How to Crush your Neighbor's Home Games, Dominate your Relatives in Poker, Why I Win All the Time, Lord Steve Lays the Hammer Down, The Puny Weaklings Get Squashed, The Ease of Victory, Plowing your Way to Easy Money, Try to be Like Me - the Uber Poker God, Why I Play Poker for a Living, How to Find a Family that doesn't Know How to Play Poker and Get Them to Have a Tournament and Then Eat Their Food, Drink Their Beer and Crush Them for Big Money Time and Time Again!

I think there were a few more, but I forget them now.

Nice win Steve.

The Silence Spoke

2005-12-31T12:54:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine decided this past week-end he was going to contemplate the silence. His kids were away for the week-end and he was looking forward to the time alone. We talked briefly about meditation and yoga. He was pensive, poised for a life-changing break-through of some sort.

On Christmas Eve I got a phone call from him. He sounded excited. "I'M FLYING TO MIAMI TOMORROW MORNING TO GET A JAGUAR CONVERTIBLE!"

He flew out Christmas morning and cruised back from Florida. When I saw him we went for a ride. It was a beautiful, sunny day in the desert. He told me about the 400 plus horse, heated seats, proximity censors, the navigation system and he showed me how it went from 0-60MPH in 4.3 seconds. He blasted the 6-CD changer - the music reverberated through the vehicle and our bodies. The top was down, the sun was shining and the music played...

He's been taking a lot of people for rides. He has a little bounce to his step and he's talking a lot about his new car. I haven't heard any more about that silence thing.

What If?

2005-12-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is a little off topic, but the thought occured to me, What if the world suddenly ran out of sandwiches?

Think of all the implications.

How I Got My Money Back from Steve-O

2005-12-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

This is one of the great achievements of my life, requiring previously untapped perseverance, shrewd psychology and a bit of luck. I had lent $500 to a Steve-O and when I saw him the next week playing at the tables and talked to him it was clear he did not remember borrowing the money. For those few of you who are not yet loyal readers of my blog, you will need to refer to a previous post "Beware of Steve-O" to understand what I was up against. Anyway, Steve-O informed me he was playing on borrowed money, had a terrible trip to Vegas and was unable to pay me back. He had over $1,000 worth of chips on the table, which he dismissed with a disdainful wave, as if it wasn't even there. I felt like slugging him one, snatching what he owed me and bolting, but that might alert security and after all it was my word against his. What I did instead was smile and told him good luck.After a few more times of not getting paid I became concerned. Then a dealer and player both confirmed he was a dengenerate, owed a lot of people money and told me I'd never be paid back. You might as well give up they said.I don't like to give up so I devised a battle plan. This was my plan: Be Kind. Kill him with Kindness. When I saw Steve-O in the future I made an effort to be very friendly, but would always ask, seemingly as an after thought, if he had the money he owed me. The excuses continued, even though he was playing poker regularly. It went on for months and months. I smiled incessantly, commiserated constantly. I gave honest poker advice. I was invested at this point. In fact, I felt like I was invested in all of humanity. If Steve-O would pay me back it would prove that every single human being on the planet was capable of redemption. I wanted him to win.Finally, he bought me a pizza. I thanked him profusely. What a good guy Steve-O truly was! Then he paid me $20, then another $20. I knew with hard work and the right attitude life could turn out to be beautiful. Finally one night it happened. I bumped into him smoking a cigarette outside the casino and he quickly told me he had won several thousand and flashed me a wad of bills. He was smiling. The air was still. The weather was perfect. I informed him that I was running bad and was a little down. Then Steve-O said this: "How much do I owe you?" Like magic, I didn't even have to ask. Months of hard work had finally paid off. When I told him it was $460 he said he only had $100 bills, how about $400 for now? I told him I'd change it up inside the casino. "I don't know if I can trust you," he said jokingly. Then he handed me 5 crisp $100 bills. Now I actually owed him $40!A few minutes later, when he located me inside playing poker, he asked for the $40 change. I shrugged, gave him a blank look and said, "Oh I forgot, it's locked up on the table now. Sorry. Let's just say I'll get you when I can OK?" The expression on his face made the whole thing worth it.

Beware of the Steve-O

2005-12-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

All casinos breed a certain type of character that is unable to win, but lacks the will-power to leave an environment where the promise of easy money hangs heavy in the air. This character lacks the discipline and intelligence to beat poker or black-jack so he must sustain himself by other means. He goes by many names, but for the purpose of this post I will refer to him as Steve-O, though in individual cases his real name is usually not given. Steve-O will say he makes his living gambling, but his true source of funding is a combination of the following:

1. Public Assistance
2. Family Assistance
3. Unknown
4. Conning innocents out of their hard-earned cash

When meeting new people, Steve-O has 2 goals.

1. Get the most money he can from this person.
2. Avoid the person after goal number 1 is achieved.

Steve-O's senses are finely tuned to any new player who walks into a casino. From years of hunting Steve-O has honed his skills to operate with unconscious precision. He lurks near the poker tables like an alligator submerged to the eyes in a pond, waiting for its next unsuspecting victim. In an instant he will be able to discern whether or not you will come to the edge of the pond for a drink.There is no way you will be able to spot Steve-O based on his appearance. Steve-O is well-camouflaged. He is a clean-cut man in nice clothes, sporting a stylish watch or bracelet.One tip that may indicate you are dealing with a Steve-O is his constant need to play Keno tickets and bet on sports.

Steve-O will also need to somehow indicate that he has a surplus of cash that he has attained from one of the following methods:

1. He is a day trader.
2. He recently won a Jackpot.
3. He won a Jackpot in Vegas sometime back that set him up for life.
4. He owns a bar or deals in some way with real estate.

Once Steve-O has met you, his victim, he will try to gain trust by the following methods:

1. He will refer to you as "buddy" or give you a nickname.
2. He will ask you to go in on a pot together, meaning you will share equally with Steve-O the losses and gains for any particular hand the two of you are both involved in. Since you are a poker player and he is a gambler you will play fewer hands and generally have the best of it and thus he will share in a portion of your winnings while minimizing his losses. Advantage Steve-O.
3. He will buy you a drink.
4. He will tell you the best place in town to get pizza.
5. He will add an "O" to the end of his name.

When your guard is down, he will ask you for money. Here are some reasons he needs money.

1. His ATM card is maxed out.
2. He wants you to bankroll his trip to Vegas.
3. He wants you to bankroll a bigger game right in the room where he is going to take some real fish for several g's.
4. He just spent his last dime on his mother's radiation treatments and needs a few bucks to get rolling again.

At this point you may not even know if this person is actually a "Steve-O" or not. The best way to defend yourself from Steve-O is to have this rule: Never loan money to anybody in a casino. It is sometimes hard to say "No." If it helps, say it like this, "I'm sorry, but I have a policy where I don't ever loan money to anybody." This makes it less personal.There are only two possible outcomes to loaning money.

1. You get paid back, partially or in full.
2. You don't.

One of these is bad and the other puts you right back at even.But here is one sure fire way to know whether or not you are dealing with a Steve-O. Loan him money. If it is a Steve-O, it will vanish.

The 3AM Trip to the ATM

2005-12-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

Some people think they can do things that they aren't capable of doing. You will find out a lot about yourself if you play poker for a living. For one thing, you know for sure whether you are successful or not. You can't "forget" a trip to the ATM at 3am too many times. (Chris Rock once suggested they close ATMs after midnight because nobody is going to an ATM at 3am for a good reason.) Most jobs you don't have to perform all that well to get paid. Poker is different.

I knew a guy in high school named Bob. He was about 5 foot 6 inches tall and non-descript except for a rather large roundish head. Bob once stood in front of the trophy case in our high school lobby and surveyed all the school records. "I could beat that," he said, pointing his finger, "and I could beat that one and that one..." Bob was not very athletic and more than a few people were annoyed by his absurd boasts, but as long as his great accomplishments existed soley in his imagination it was hard to argue with him. Theoretically, he could beat every school record. It was within the realm of possibility.

Eventually, a second string basketball player named Kyle challenged him to play a game of one-on-one. A wager was made - a game to 21 win by 2, $10 a point. Bob was too stubborn to back down. His mind struggled to find a way he could defeat Kyle. After a long pause, he said, "I have an advantage. I've seen you play." This he believed was enough of an edge. To prepare for the game I suppose Bob read several books about basketball.

The time of the game was set, a crowd gathered in the gym. Bob started with the ball. He dribbled, faked, threw up a hook shot and it went in! 1-0 Bob. All Bob's greatness was now being confirmed inside an actual playing arena. His face beamed with a determined pride. "This is how it should be," he seemed to be thinking. "I am great. I will win."

Bob, however, was severely outmatched and his face soon took on a twisted, painful grimace as Kyle ran off the next 13 points on his way to a 21-3 victory.Bob was $180 in the hole. This was a lot of money in high school for a kid with no job. Bob delayed payments for a time while Kyle grew increasingly threatening. Towards the end of school one day Bob paid Kyle with a few $10 bills stacked on top of some McDonald's gift certificates and slipped away before Kyle discovered the trick. The thought must have popped into Bob's big head as he was running through the parking lot that this was a short-term solution.

The next morning Bob was contrite and a payment plan was hashed out to both parties mutual satisfaction.I wish some of my poker lessons had only cost $180. I guess my point is that a continued state of self-delusion is fatal in poker so be honest about your mistakes and willing to learn from them. And if you see me looking a little haggard and red-eyed around the ATM machine at 3am, keep in mind I like to go grocery shopping late; it's quiet, and not so crowded, and I can be first in line for the warm, fresh bakery bagels that I love so much.

Remember When?

2005-12-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

Interesting article by Daniel Negreanu about the new school of poker.

Squidoo

2005-12-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

Squidoo.com has built a platform that makes it easy for anyone to teach about what they know. It is similar to a blog, but you can do a lot more with it. You build what is called a "lens." You can create links, have live rss news feeds and use a photo sharing module called Flickr that will pick up and publish relevant pictures for your lens.

Essentially, it gives novices like me the simple tools to create their own website. I still have a lot to learn about it, but I set this up yesterday. Online Poker for Beginners

Any comments, advice and/or feedback is appreciated.

The Pooh Bag

2005-12-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

I was recently discussing with some friends how convenient it is to be able to play poker online line in the comfort on one's own home. You can play in the bathtub or while perched on the toilet. Indeed, having a wireless laptop was my solution to building a toilet next to the computer desk. The silence of being online also solves the problem I often run into on the phone when talking to a girl, as I don't have to disguise the flush by pretending I'm doing dishes, or flick the handle and make a mad dash to the next room.

For those not fortunate enough to have a wireless hook-up for your laptop you can now choose from a wide variety of pooh bags and continue to play poker virtually undisturbed.

Building a Bankroll with $100 Online

2005-12-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

I found the following post in Two Plus Two. I’ve included the link below the article, but you need to be a member of Two Plus Two to have the link work. Be sure to check for rakeback at sites before you sign up for any bonuses. You don’t want to be stuck with an account at any site without rakeback. My only edit is in parentheses where I replaced a rakeback site with the link for The Rakeback Store

As a new player on a limited bankroll, you need to make sure you receive the maximum bonus at every site to survive. If you deposit at Party first, you will not be doing this. You’ll be missing out on $75, which is 3/4 of your entire bankroll! How are you losing $75, you ask? Well, at Party you are given a choice of either a $25/$25 or 20% up to $100 sign-up bonus. With $100, your best option is the $25/$25, which leaves you $75 short of the maximum bonus offered. What this means is that you should wait until you have $500 before depositing at Party.
So, where should you start? Remember, you want to obtain the maximum bonus at each site, and unfortunately most sites require a deposit of more than $100 to receive such a bonus. However, there are a few exceptions to this, namely some of the Cryptologic sites (Interpoker, Poker Plex, Carribean Sun and Will Hill). The bonuses offered at these sites are as follows:
Interpoker -> $90 for $90 bonus - 450 raked handsPoker Plex -> $50 bonus - 300 raked handsCaribbean Sun -> $40 bonus - 250 raked handsWilliam Hill -> $25 bonus - 5 hrs of play
Starting with your $100, proceed through each of these bonuses. If you breakeven on gameplay, you will have $300 (actually $305) when you’re finished. If you suffer some losses and are at less than $200 when all is said and done, do these bonuses again the next month (yes, that’s right, these are monthly bonuses!).
Assuming you’re now over $200, follow this link to Paradise Poker and enter bonus code GRANNY for a 50% bonus up to $100. The $200 amount is key because that is the amount needed to obtain the maximum bonus. After you clear this bonus, you should have around $400 in your bankroll, assuming breakeven play. Now head back to the Crypto skins (if you haven’t already) and get yourself up to that magic $500 mark.
Okay, so you now have $500. Now we’re going to start rolling around in big piles of money. Hit up Party and skins, whose sign-up bonuses are as follows:
Party -> 20% to $100 bonus - 500 raked handsEmpire -> 20% to $100 bonus - 500 raked handsIntertops -> 20% to $100 bonus - 500 raked hands (Use code EARN 20)Multi -> 25% to $150 bonus - 1500 raked hands
After getting all of these bonuses, go back and get the iGM-Pay bonus from Party and Empire, for another $100 each (for more information on the iGM-Pay bonuses, do a search of the Internet Gambling forum).
For each of these sites, attempt to sign up through a reputable affiliate in order to get a percentage of your rake returned to you at the end of each month. It is preferable to sign up through a site that has express consent to offer rake rebates like The Rakeback Store

Anyhoo, by now you should have around $1000 in your roll. It’s probably about time to hit up the Crypto sites again (you haven’t forgotten about them, have you?). Also, you can now whore the following sites, which have good sized bonuses, but games that aren’t quite as good as Party’s (additionally, you may want to expand into casino whoring, starting with Casino-on-Net, Starluck and Planetluck).
Poker Stars -> No standard sign-up bonus, must wait for a reload (usually 20% to $120)Ultimate Bet -> 20% to $100 bonus - 1000 player pointsPacific Poker -> 25% to $100 bonus - Wager $2000Poker Room -> 20% to $100 bonus - 700 player pointsAbsolute Poker -> 35% to $210 bonus -> 2100 raked hands
Now you’ll have $1500-$2000 in your roll, and hopefully have enough experience under your belt to multi-table 2-4 and/or 3-6 and pull in >= $20/hr from gameplay alone. Every so often, you’ll receive reloads from Party and skins, and of course you’ll still want to take advantage of the Crypto bonuses each month, but the majority of your profits will be from gameplay. Eventually, you’ll be 47 tabling 400 NL and $15-30 ala Zee Justin, and the bonuses won’t mean jack to you. But they’ll always have a place in your heart…
– Homer
Link to the Post

The Private Albuquerque Game

2005-12-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

These are poker chips and the tables Charlie makes himself for the notorious home game found in an undisclosed basement in Albuquerque, New Mexico. You must judge for yourself an acceptable level of risk when you play with Danger in this game.

Poker Table by Charlie McDanger

2005-12-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

New Approach

2005-12-10T17:09:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit tired of my religion so I'm trying a new religious approach.

I'm going to go meditate for 15 minutes now and concentrate on trying to improve the world.

I'd like to know if this is working or not so please report the following experiences to me:

1. Any money you find.

2. Any unexpected pleasant experiences.

3. Any positive vibes of unknown origin.

For the record, the time is now 5:42PM Arizona time.

Felix Comes to Town

2005-11-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

So my long haired-hippie poker blogger friend comes to town 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since.

Did he sell out and go back to the corporate world?

Felix gets in Friday morning and our first trip is to the casino. I drop him off, go get a nap, come back and he is still going strong. In fact I never saw him sleep the whole week-end. I think he played a total of 173 hours between Friday and Monday morning.

Our only site-seeing/tourist trip was for a few minutes Sunday morning when we checked out the teenage girls at a local In and Out Burger. We ate the burgers in the car on the way back to the casino.

Has anybody seen Felix?

Please post replies, even if they are vague rumors, I'd be interested in tracking him down.

You Are What You Pretend to Be

2005-11-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I'm playing poker someone will start teasing me because I'm playing tight. "What's the matter, your Ace deuce wasn't suited? What are you waiting for? You haven't played a hand in an hour! Are you a professional or something?"

Blah, blah, Ha, Ha, Ha!

To counteract this, usually before the teasing starts, I will take on a flamboyant nature. I'll start teasing other players for playing tight. I'll make a lot of noise when I enter a pot, even if I haven't played a hand in a while. "Here I come again, I raise!" I'll have a few drinks, knock over chips, pretend to make mistakes. Nothing as obvious as the drunken tourist bit, but I'll make a good show of it. I'll pretend to raise in the dark after I look at my cards or I'll call by "accident" or if I lose I'll say something like, "I totally misread my hand. I should pay more attention. I thought I had a flush."

I'll play exactly the same, but I seem to play looser and this helps get me action and loosens up the table.

There is nothing worse than sitting at the table next to some nit that wants to talk poker strategy all night. I play poker to have fun and relax and maybe get lucky and win a little bit. After all, nobody in their right mind would play poker for a living.

The Way I Played It

2005-11-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

Almost 3 years ago now I started playing for a living not knowing if I could make it or not. I quit my job and hit the road with my cat Molly, who thankfully traveled very well. My first trip was to Tunica Mississippi. I had several friends that were pros I knew from Saint Louis and we headed down for the big tournament in January.

I booked a room at the Horseshoe for a month and played every day. I snuck Molly into the hotel. Once a week I'd find a maid in the hallway to clean the room and give her a nice tip. Most of the maids were afraid of cats so I'd put Molly (sweet, harmless little Molly) in her traveling cage and move her to the bathroom and back to avoid a confrontation when the maids cleaned the rooms.

There was quite a mix of players in Tunica that year. A drunk millionaire who tipped anybody near him when he won, a deadly beautiful princess (literally a princess from some Arabic country) with long jet-black hair who had left the caste to try to make it playing poker, (I saw her picture in a Poker magazine for winning a tournament a few years later so I guess she made it), a recovering coke fiend X-Hollywood-producer-current-alcoholic who made Tunica his home and had a voice like nails on a chalkboard except more shrill and grating, Lorna who was faking an injury and supporting herself with workmen's comp, Sarge the old, crippled, nearly deaf toothless racist who everyone seemed to love and my poker friends. Throw in the usual energy surrounding a big tournament and it made for some wild games.

So I'm in Tunica about the 3rd night, up a little bit for the trip and I'm in the big blind of a $20-40 game with a half-kill and I can feel the game getting ready to erupt and I look down at a 6-8 offsuit. It's raised a bunch of times and comes to me and I can either cap it or fold and for some reason - I have no idea why - I cap it. Even in the short time I'd been at Tunica this weird little poker family knew I was a solid player so they put me on Aces or Kings. The flop comes 7,5, 2 rainbow and the little blind bets into me. At this point I figure all my outs are probably good if I can narrow the field - the 2 straight cards and the 8 (as it turns out the 6 would have been good as well) so I raise it and the big cards drop, but one cute little Asian girl calls along with the small blind who is a middle-aged man, an average player, and, as it turns out, a man who likes to gamble.

The turn is a 4 giving me the nuts. This is the fun part. The little blind checks and I bet and I get raised by the Asian girl and then the little blind re-raises! A friend of mine at the table shakes his head to commiserate with the bad beat and then I say, "Re-raise." He seems more than a little shocked, but has to figure I have the nuts or I've lost my mind. In fact to have the nuts he knows I would have to be more than a little nutty because it would mean I capped it before the flop with a 6-8 so he is very curious. Well, strange things happen in Tunica in the middle of the night.

Both players call me. A blank comes on the river and the little blind bets again and I raise. The little Asian girl stands up with her cards clenched in her hands and walks away from the table. She can't release them. She is holding pocket 4's. The dealer tells her to come back. She is frozen about 10 feet from the table. The dealer doesn't know what to do. She is showing everybody her pocket 4's and a few people watching are telling her that I must have a straight and she says, "I KNOW, I KNOW!" I tell the perplexed dealer to forget about it and the guy in the small blind calls and shows a 3-6 for the smaller straight. The girl crumples her cards, drops them on the floor and leaves. The guy who lost was very gracious and seemed to enjoy that I was gambling. "Nice hand. I hate these rocks who never gamble and don't give another player any action," he said.

I proceeded to go on a nice little run after that, played solid, had a bunch of big hands and got called down every time. That 6-8 was a key hand for me because my bankroll was relatively small at the time and it was crucial for me to win or I might not have sustained to a point where I could play for a living. Although I would likely play it differently now I've got to think, given all the circumstances, I played it right back then.

Bodog Delays the Masterpiece

2005-11-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

Well the masterpiece that I was supposed to write when I went broke and started starving will have to wait a little while.

I managed to scrape a few bucks out of Bodog so that will keep me in Hot Pockets and Ramen Noodles for another week.

Just so you guys know Bodog has this glitch where if you sit down it automatically takes your big blind whether you want to post or not and you get no cards. Fun. I called them and they claimed it gets credited back when you play your small blind. I didn't notice that, but what the fuck kind of poker site is that? Must have some top-notch programmers to make sure it gets back to you in the small blind. Good thinking. Problem solved.

One time I sat out a few hands, came back and clicked "Wait for Big Blind" and sat down and Boom, a $10 post goes down. This time I could see my cards and no I didn't get my $10 credit when the small blind rolled around. I was tempted to call them, but I'm superstitious about getting into arguments with poker sites. I would have asked for $20 anyway because a few hands later I checked raised all in when I flopped the nuts with a wrap to a bigger straight and a King-high flush draw and a guy with two pair with no other draw decided to call me.

There are some wild games at Bodog and some terrible players. I've made the most there just pushing in with the nuts. For example in a $5-10 pot limit Omaha game I raised the pot with A-A-2-10 and 2 spades to the Ace. The little blind called and the flop came A, 9, 3 with two spades. I bet the pot expecting to take it there. He called. A seven of spades came on the turn. I bet the pot again and I got put all in by a Jack high flush. His cards Jack, 10, 5, 8.

Bodog started as a Sports Betting site and I get the impression every other poker player just won a parlay and infused with a shot of TV Poker can't wait to jump in some big games and throw some chips around.

For Felix

2005-11-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

I met this weirdo who plays a lot of poker and thinks he is a cartoon character. He has been pushing me to write and play more poker because like many of you, he hangs on every post as if it is the next chapter in the poker gospels.

Or maybe he just wants a good laugh, who knows?

I lost $123 tonight playing $6-12 Omaha Hi Lo and here I am writing.

Felix said I've become a whore because I've tried to make a few bucks as an affiliate so I don't have to try to grind out a living with my questionable poker skills.

I would add only add to this that I'm the worst kind of whore: a broke one.

I'm perhaps the worst poker affiliate ever because I end up giving away huge percentages and still can't get many sign-ups. I tend to get the bonus whore players who hit negative rake every month, but want rakeback just in case they ever decide to play a few hands past their bonus.

I guess Felix is right, I should post. Knut Hamsun was so broke he ate his own flesh to stay alive and wrote a great book about it. Maybe my perpetual losing and failure in business is leading me to the next great masterpiece of literature. I would hate to think I'm becoming a crazed, destitute whore for no good reason.

If Fate is kind to me I will lose the last few bucks I have and start writing....

Wish me luck.

Offering Rake Rebates

2005-10-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of speculation about rake rebates at the X-Party skins and what the future holds for Party Poker. There are many multi-tabling players out there looking for a home now that Party Poker has removed itself from the platform.

I've been an affiliate at EuroBet for a year and have built up a solid customer base by giving the highest allowable percentages and providing quality customer support 24/7. If you have any questions or comments about this side of the business please feel free to contact me through here or my website: www.onlinepokermentors.com

Theory of Luck

2005-10-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

In Doyle's Super System he talks about gambling with other people's money in no-limit Hold-em. He'll run a series of bluffs to run up his stack and then he moves all in with some kind of draw either hoping to win the pot right there or catch his draw and bust someone.

I use this strategy in a $6-12 Omaha Hi-Lo game I like to play. I avoid all marginal decisions if I am losing or even, but if I'm ahead I will play a marginal hand or take a shot at a marginal draw that I wouldn't otherwise.

This is a theory of luck really. Some may argue that the right decision is the right decision and should not be affected by your chip stack, but I disagree. When I have the opportunity to gamble with other people's money I will take a few shots and try to run it up.

Stack My Chips Loser

2005-10-06T12:17:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine, JT, told me his ultimate humiliation at the poker table. A paraplegic sat next to JT at the $30-$60 table. An assistant would show the handicapped man his cards, but it wasn't feasible to lean over and stack the man's chips for him so this task fell to the kind-hearted JT. The man couldn't play a lick, but got on quite a heater and put bad beat after bad beat on JT. He'd let out a high-shrieked cackle when he won and JT would have to deal with the humiliation of stacking the chips in front of the "helpless" laughing man. It didn't seem right to suffer bad beats, but to have to stack the chips for your grinning victor was an added slap in the face. A few minutes previously he had felt a sense of pride in offering a helping hand to someone in need and now he was looking for any reason in the world not to do the task. Nobody wanted to change seats and nobody left the table. JT was stuck. The bad-beat, laughing and chip stacking continued through-out the night. When JT went all in with two Aces and lost to the man's J-9 offsuit he quietly stacked his last chips into the man's pile, stood up and slunk away into the night.

Being a healthy, happily married man with 2 wonderful boys allows him to have the perspective to laugh at the situation now, but that night he didn't find it very funny.

Poker Player Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances

2005-10-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

In a press conference today local Phoenix police chief Derek Johnson announced that Daniel Gray died last night at "Motel", which is a small family-run motel located on 6th Street and Bell in downtown Phoenix. Daniel's body was discovered by the maid this morning, his head face-down in a plate of powdered donuts next to a half-constructed ant farm. It was unclear if the ant farm was Daniel's latest project or provides a clue as to his mysterious death.

"All we know at this point," Chief Johnson said, "is that he was some over-grown kid who liked to play poker."

Alcohol and drugs have not been ruled out.

Choose to Live Joyfully

2005-10-02T01:37:00.000-07:00

Poker has taught me many life lessons that I was too muddle-headed to comprehend in the first place. For example, I learned early in my poker career not to let anything from the past negatively affect my future. Sounds simple enough, but why did I find it so difficult to put into practice? I would take several bad beats at the tables and the untroubled faces of week-end gamblers would suddenly transform into demons of mythic proportions. This emotional reaction to losing wasn't healthy or profitable. The fact that these negative images of harmless people occurred to me was bad enough, but to let it carry over into my life and future decision making was absurd.

Losing had a snowball effect. When I lost I got ulcers and I didn't have the desire to talk to friends or do things I enjoyed. I'm not proud to say there was no better loser than me. But I was at least smart enough to realize this wasn't the best way to live my life. I chose to have a positive outlook no matter what happened simply because the alternative was worse. I'm not saying all my days are now blissfully serene skips through the park, but I do have a new resolve and make better decisions than I did in the past. Even my bad days now aren't really bad.

I was talking with an old acquaintance the other day and she told me she had been divorced and some of her other recent problems. She had severe shoulder pain and went to the doctor and he told her much of it had to do with her tense attitude. She said to the doctor, "You try dealing with the shit I've been through in the last 6 months!" It reminded me of what I used to do. She was choosing to hold on to her bitterness even though her body was screaming for her to let it go.

The world is a mess. The world is perfect. Choose your life and make it what you want.

No Direction Home

2005-09-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

"I was born very far from where I was supposed to be so I've always been on my way home."

Bob Dylan

No Direction Home is Martin Scorsese's recently released film biography of Bob Dylan. Highly recommended.

The Playthings of Meaninglessness

2005-09-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

I read Crime and Punishment this summer. It's a great book. I mention this because it is not related to poker.

If you don't play for a living it is all new and fun, but professional poker players can find themselves stuck in that movie Groundhog's Day. When they are not reading the same poker book they've been reading forever they sit at the same table with the same people and eat the same meals and drink the same drinks and say the same things while being dealt the same cards, which they play the same exact way, and then they go home and wake up and do it again.

What I don't understand is the people who play every day out of choice and not necessity. There is a group of wealthy retirees who convene in the afternoons and play a Hi/Lo game at a local casino. They have nothing to do so they play poker. They have nothing of interest to talk about, but they talk anyway. Listening to this septuagenarian cluster of dullards is like being tortured with a slow, sporadic assault of ping pong balls. They rarely raise before the flop and after the flop they usually check their hands down without even betting. If one of them happens to bet he will show his cards to ensure his buddy that he was not bluffing him, as if this is the way gentlemen are supposed to play poker. Someone once stood up in disgust and said, "This is like watching old men die," and left.

I read somewhere of a suggestion for a poker doll. You could pull a string for the appropriate situation, such as the time two players end up splitting a pot with the exact same cards and one of them invariably says, "You play that shit?" I've heard this same comment countless times. It would be nice to be able to pull out that doll and yank the cord at the right moment. "You play that shit?"

A wise man once said there are two roads in life. One leads to immediate extinction. The other is excrutiatingly painful and long.

Pray that you choose wisely.

A Battle of Good and Evil

2005-09-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

Poker games can often be a battle of good and evil. You will see people do evil things for absolutely no reason at the poker table. My friend related to me the following story yesterday, which I will paraphrase here and change the names to protect the guilty.

Luke is a professional player. He plays at Casino X frequently with a man named Darth. Darth has the annoying habit of always asking to see player's cards after he defeats them. It's generally accepted that if you beat some one you won't humiliate them by forcing them to expose their cards. For one thing, you may cause a weaker player to leave the game or, worse, become aware of how bad he is playing. Secondly, a solid player's holding will rarely surprise and therefore has little to no informational value.

But Darth is a little man with a superior opinion of himself that he continually seeks to validate.

Eventually Luke ends up in a hand with Darth. Luke flops 3 of a kind and he checks and calls Darth on the flop, turn and river. Then Luke tells the dealer not to muck his hand. Darth shows him 2 pair. Luke nods, says, "Good hand," and pushes his cards forward. Darth points to Luke's cards. "Dealer, I'd like to see those cards." The dealer flips up 3 of a kind, a winner. "Oh," Luke says, pretending to be surprised. "I thought I only had one pair."

The dealer starts to push the pot to Luke. Darth hits the roof. "Call the floor! That's bullshit! He mucked his cards!" The floor is called, but the ruling stands. The cards speak, the hand is live and Luke is the winner. Darth is led to believe if he had just kept his mouth shut he'd be $400 richer. His face turns red, smoke comes out of his ears and he proceeds to go on tilt and ends up losing 2k.

One for for the good guys.

The Drunken Question

2005-09-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

OK last night I'm playing at Casino Arizona and a guy skips ahead of someone to get into our game. He said he thought he heard his name called. It's soon apparent that this guy is totally plastered. His eyes are red slits and he reeks of alcohol. The guy who was first in line generously lets him keep playing. The drunk plays every hand. This is Omaha Hi Lo, which is a game he probably wouldn't understand sober. He starts swearing. At one point he falls out of his chair. He is warned by dealers and a floor manager to watch his mouth. He goes through $300 in about 1/2 an hour. At one point I see him muck the nut low. He sees a player across the table as a potential target and threatens him under his breath. "I hate those kind of people," he snarls.

A fat man in a nice suit arrives and he confers with a floor manager a short distance from the table. It seems apparent the drunk will soon be kicked out. They ask the drunk to come talk with them. He talks with them and then walks away. It seems like they have kicked him out without incident, but a short while later he stumbles back to the table with his t-shirt turned inside out. Apparently, the words "Security" were on his shirt and this was against Casino Arizona's rules for anyone besides real Security to be representing themselves as such. So now the belligerent drunk is tossing away his money with his t-shirt inside out.

He tips $8 or $10 or more at a time when he wins, which isn't very often. He tosses me $4 in chips for bringing him luck even though he is well past $400 stuck. I say, "It's OK, don't do that," and wave my hand because I don't want to enter into any kind of bond with the man. However, I don't hand the chips back because he is likely to be terribly wounded by this insult and I might never hear the end of it.

A dealer asks the only lady at the table if the man is offending her. She says she feels sorry for the people who have to sit next to him. In fact, she may be afraid to say anything and it seems very unfair to elect her the person to vote him off the island. It would be more pleasant for everybody if he left, but everybody is making money off of him so nobody says anything.

This is no different than playing poker with a mentally retarded person. He has absolutely no chance of winning. The only difference that tempers my pity significantly is that this man has chosen to put himself in this state. The bottom line though is Casino Arizona should not let someone this drunk play poker. I don't think they should feel responsible about him losing his money, after all guys toss away money at strip joints like it was rice at a wedding and nobody intervenes and questions their stupidity. However, if someone is cursing and threatening and stumbling over himself, the game is going to be unpleasant. If the games are unpleasant many of the weaker players who come for the social aspect will go elsewhere and so in the long run it really is bad for business, mine and the casino's.

Chained to Freedom

2005-09-10T03:39:00.000-07:00

The best hours to play poker are when everyone else is having fun - nights and week-ends. You will look across the table and see someone laughing, drinking, winning and tossing random, large tips to the dealer. He will toss so many chips that invariably a few of them bounce off the table and everyone (except you) laughs while they hunt for the bits of clay that you have dedicated your life trying to accumulate. You will be pale, hunched over your cards, losing, trying to calculate odds and thinking, "There must be a better way to make a living." You will try to smile and remain clear-headed. Here you are working and everyone else is having fun. When you finally win a hand you will sheepishly slide one little dollar chip to the dealer, not knowing if you feel worse because are so cheap or because you can not really afford it.

The next morning when your friends are having a pool party you will be catching up on your sleep. When you wake up you will re-play in your mind all the mistakes you made last night. You will never stop thinking about poker hands. Really you are only away from poker when you are sleeping. Even then, if you play a lot, you will dream of hands being dealt. Sometimes it is random card dreams, but also you will be confronted with a common poker nightmare. In this dream you will be dealt a huge hand, maybe a Royal Flush. You will be raised. There will be a huge pile of chips on the table. Then reality begins to alter or maybe it is your perception getting sharper, but every time you look back at your cards your holding gets weaker and weaker. Your Royal Flush turns to a full house and you look again and now it is just a regular flush, 3 of a kind.... it goes on down to a pair of sixes or maybe just random cards. The huge pile of chips will elude you. This is as common as the being naked in school dream you had in the 7th grade.

You will need to play a lot to win, probably more hours than you ever spent working at any of your real jobs.

Your co-workers are trying to get you to quit working at your job. Of course, you don't have any co-workers really, just enemies at work. They will lie and try to deceive you constantly. They will resent or disbelieve that you play poker for a living. If you admit you do they will say, "Must be nice."

Strangers sometimes needle you for no apparent reason with the Slow Roll. The Slow Roll is when, after a hand is over, a player intentionally feigns that he is beat by shaking his head, sighing and other such theatrics as he slowly turns over his cards before suddenly, triumphantly exposing a Monster Hand, an obvious winner. You won't need to provoke a person to get the Slow Roll.

You will have to pay for your own health insurance. If you neglect to do this you will explore previously unexplored home remedies to avoid going to a doctor. The time, energy and pain spent during these ridiculous adventures will never turn out to be worth it.

You will have to go through some unusual hoops or pay outrageously large sums of cash when renting an apartment or house or buying a car.

You will go through losing streaks so outrageously unlucky you will draw only one conclusion: God does not want you to play poker for a living.

Lastly, you will have no record of having a job for years and when your next employer inquires about this troubling gap in your history you will only be able reassure him with this sentence: "I played poker during that time."

The Bad Beat Spin

2005-09-07T04:45:00.000-07:00

I played side games at the Rio in June this year during the WSOP. The games were quite good. My first night there I got into a $10-20 Hold'em game. I won only one pot in the first 4 hours. Still, it was a sizeable pot and I managed to find myself even and feeling good about winning for the night if I could just get a few hands to hold up.

Then this hand came up: a solid, tight player raised from first position before the flop and I made it 3 bets with 2 Aces, hoping to isolate what I thought was a big pair. The player behind me called as well as the small blind and when the original raiser re-raised me I thought, "he's probably got 2 Kings," which he later confirmed, but anyway I raised again and it was capped. A $200 pot already. The flop came Ace, 9, 5 with the Ace and 5 of spades. I figured if I could avoid the flush I'd win a nice pot. The small blind bet out and the solid player mucked his 2 Kings and I raised to make the possible flush draws pay. The other straggler behind me folded and the small blind called. I'll call him Mr. Wu.

The turn card was the 2 of hearts and Mr. Wu bet and I raised and then he re-raised me. What? Raise 3 Aces? Just call on the flop? What was going on? The only hand that beat me now was if he held a 3-4 to make the wheel, the best possible hand next to my 3 Aces. I thought about Mr. Wu's play up until that point. He was very liberal before the flop so he could have called with a 3-4, especially if it was suited. In addition he had a few hands earlier just checked a very strong hand on the river when it was checked to him so it was unlikely he'd get carried away too far with a hand such as Ace-9 or even 9-9 or 5-5. The best play for me at this point was obviously to call and see if the board would pair giving me a full house.

Lo and behold a 2 came on the river, giving me Aces full and Mr. Wu bet and I raised. Aces full. I figure I'm up a nice $400 and rolling now. Then he re-raised, and I re-raised thinking how sweet it was to make Aces full and get raised and then a funny thing happened. He raised again. I paused. Something very bad was happening here. Well, I ruled out 4 deuces, but I did notice that the 2 was a spade, giving him a straight flush wheel if indeed he did hold the 3 and 4 of spades. I called, he showed me the 3-4 of spades and as he swept the pot Mr. Wu said, "I almost didn't play that hand."

Not too much later I sought out a few friends to tell them of this horrible occurrence. I got sympathy, whistles, Wow's! and some head-shaking disbelief. What I did was typical. I put the bad beat spin on it by saying, "I lost with Aces full to a 3-4 when he called 2 and 1/2 bets cold before the flop." The predictable, "How did you lose?" followed, which let me wallow in my loss and the unlucky odds of losing with Aces full.

It is indeed unlucky to lose with Aces full, especially in Hold'em and especially if you hold 2 Aces in your hand. This may happen only once or twice in the life-time of a full time poker player. It is the only time it has ever happened to me. But in truth it wasn't a bad beat. It was a loose game so lots of players are likely to call before the flop with weak holdings and beat out much stronger starting hands. That is poker. And after the flop Mr. Wu was only a small underdog with a flush draw and a gut-shot straight draw. Then he took the lead on the turn and never relinquished it.

What really bothered me when I thought about it was that I didn't act on the information I had. Up to that point I had paid attention to each player and thought about what they might be holding. When it came time to put this information to use I disregarded it because I made a big hand. What good is insight if you don't act on it? In truth, I played the hand poorly by putting in at least one extra raise on the river. After all, I saw that he was just checking or calling with strong hands after the flop so he would not have re-raised me on the river without 4 deuces or the straight flush wheel. What really burned was that I had put him on exactly the 3 and 4 of spades and chose to ignore this information when I most needed it.

My only retrospective comfort was that Mr. Wu had the opportunity to get all my chips. He could have easily put me on 3 Aces and just checked and called on the turn. If he does this and then bets out on the river he would have trapped me for several more bets, maybe even all of my chips. I would not have suspected the straight flush wheel. I would not even have felt so bad if this had happened. But since he was such an obvious player his manner was excited when he made the wheel on the turn. I was tipped off to his hand and might have lost much less than I did, but failed to capitalize on this opportunity.

It's easy to lose focus in poker. Sexy cocktail waitresses, bright lights, big piles of chips, people drinking, laughing, swearing. Then you get a huge hand and get excited. You win or lose and your mood will swing accordingly. This is what happened to me. It was my second time in Vegas, my first night of this trip, things were going slowly and I got overly excited about my big hand and briefly forgot what I knew. Avoid the temptation to get caught up in it. Poker is a game of many decisions. To separate yourself from the competition you need to learn to improve and make better decisions than your opponents. It sounds simple, but at the table it requires great stamina and discipline to make the best possible decision at every given moment. Your goal should be to play perfect poker. Always.

The Search for a Better Idiot

2005-09-06T22:29:00.000-07:00

Jefferson Parish president Aaron Broussard:
"Bureaucracy has murdered people in the greater New Orleans area," he said on the CBS Early Show. "Take whatever idiot they have at the top of whatever agency and give me a better idiot. Give me a caring idiot. Give me a sensitive idiot. Just don't give me the same idiot."

Best Tip Yet

2005-09-04T03:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't heard there is now a potato chip with a slight curve to it that holds big gobs of salsa very securely as it travels from the dipping bowl to your mouth. They are called "Scoops." I went through 2 bags of these delightful little snacks last night and never spilled a drop. This has to be the best invention of the last century! I don't know how I got by with those silly pathetic little flat chips for so long. I can't tell you how much easier my life is now. I don't know how many times I've spilled on myself or the carpet or my elbow as I tried ever so carefully to balance some kind of dip on a poorly designed chip. Well, no more! One of the greatest challenges in my life has now been made obsolete. God bless America and God bless the brilliant potato chip architects who have brought us the Scoops!

Beware of the Steve-O

2005-08-29T23:07:00.002-07:00

All casinos breed a certain type of character that is unable to win, but lacks the will-power to leave an environment where the promise of easy money hangs heavy in the air. This character lacks the discipline and intelligence to beat poker or black-jack so he must sustain himself by other means. He goes by many names, but for the purpose of this post I will refer to him as Steve-O, though in individual cases his real name is usually not given. Steve-O will say he makes his living gambling, but his true source of funding is a combination of the following:

1. Public Assistance
2. Family Assistance
3. Unknown
4. Conning innocents out of their hard-earned cash

When meeting new people, Steve-O has 2 goals.

1. Get the most money he can from this person.
2. Avoid the person after goal number 1 is achieved.

Steve-O's senses are finely tuned to any new player who walks into a casino. From years of hunting Steve-O has honed his skills to operate with unconscious precision. He lurks near the poker tables like an alligator submerged to the eyes in a pond, waiting for its next unsuspecting victim. In an instant he will be able to discern whether or not you will come to the edge of the pond for a drink.

There is no way you will be able to spot Steve-O based on his appearance. Steve-O is well-camouflaged. He is a clean-cut man in nice clothes, sporting a stylish watch or bracelet.

One tip that may indicate you are dealing with a Steve-O is his constant need to play Keno tickets and bet on sports. Steve-O will also need to somehow indicate that he has a surplus of cash that he has attained from one of the following methods:

1. He is a day trader.
2. He recently won a Jackpot.
3. He won a Jackpot in Vegas sometime back that set him up for life.
4. He owns a bar or deals in some way with real estate.

Once Steve-O has met you, his victim, he will try to gain trust by the following methods:

1. He will refer to you as "buddy" or give you a nickname.
2. He will ask you to go in on a pot together, meaning you will share equally with Steve-O the losses and gains for any particular hand the two of you are both involved in. Since you are a poker player and he is a gambler you will play fewer hands and generally have the best of it and thus he will share in a portion of your winnings while minimizing his losses. Advantage Steve-O.
3. He will buy you a drink.
4. He will tell you the best place in town to get pizza.
5. He will add an "O" to the end of his name.

When your guard is down, he will ask you for money. Here are some reasons he needs money.

1. His ATM card is maxed out.
2. He wants you to bankroll his trip to Vegas.
3. He wants you to bankroll a bigger game right in the room where he is going to take some real fish for several g's.
4. He just spent his last dime on his mother's radiation treatments and needs a few bucks to get rolling again.

At this point you may not even know if this person is actually a "Steve-O" or not. The best way to defend yourself from Steve-O is to have this rule: Never loan money to anybody in a casino. It is sometimes hard to say "No." If it helps, say it like this, "I'm sorry, but I have a policy where I don't ever loan money to anybody." This makes it less personal.

There are only two possible outcomes to loaning money. 1. You get paid back in full.
or 2. You don't. One of these is bad and the other puts you right back at even.

But here is one sure fire way to know whether or not you are dealing with a Steve-O. Loan him money. If it is a Steve-O, it will vanish.

Why I Like Hell

2005-08-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in the minority here, but I like Phil Hellmuth. Most of his critics say he is a spoiled brat and needs to grow up because he insults players and throws tantrums. He believes if you beat him in poker you are a lucky idiot and if he beats you it is because he vastly out-played you with his superior skills.

Most grown-ups have some inkling that other people have emotions and feelings, but children are slow to develop the concept of "other people." Phil is like a child in this regard. It is a fact that he stopped maturing emotionally somewhere around the age of 5.

Well, who wants to grow up anyway? I think we need a Big Baby to act out all our childish fantasies in the poker world. Who hasn't wanted to scream at the player across the table for playing a hand poorly, yet scooping a bunch of your chips because he got lucky? YOU ARE A SUB-HUMAN MORONIC FREAK! HOW CAN YOU PLAY THAT HAND? YOU DON'T HAVE THE SENSE GOD GAVE A DONUT! Instead, we bottle up that rage, and often say, "Nice hand," with all the refined, polite manner in which we ask the old man in the neighboring limo for some Grey Poupon. "Very nice hand sir."

We act polite because we are grown-ups, but what really are the advantages to growing up? You go bald, get ulcers, your skin wrinkles, your bones become brittle, you shrink, your teeth fall out and you end up in diapers. So who really wants to grow up?

I think Phil rubs so many people the wrong way because they wish they could hurl out a profuse barrage of venomous words upon the lucky idiots who beat them, even if that person is the quiet, elderly woman who plays every hand and often misreads her cards at the $1-2 table. WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY GRANDMA? YOU STUPID OLD CRONE! YOU ARE AS BLIND AS A BAT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PICK UP A TELL ON YOU WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE?

Well, maybe there is a line that we shouldn't cross and sometimes Phil crosses that line, but my point is we need him and people like him to express what we are not expressing in the world. The fact that he does it in a public arena, totally out of context to what is socially appropriate, is not only hilarious it is also a refreshing burst of honesty.

Online Poker Whores

2005-08-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

If you are playing poker seriously online you should understand that someone besides the casino is making money on you. Whoever signed you up is in some way an affiliate for the online casino and making up to 35% or more of the rake you pay. There are 2 ways to maximize your online poker dollar. The first is to find bonuses at all the sites. Besides initial sign-up bonuses most poker sites have re-load bonuses every month. Check out this site for detailed information - www.bonuswhores.com If you are always hitting a bonus this comes out of your total rake so you can get a large percentage of the rake you pay back.

The second method is, when you are not playing for bonuses, to be getting some of your rake back from the affiliate that signed you up. Check out www.rakerebatereview.com for affiliates who offer rake back. Don't fall for a cheap $200 bonus or a free poker set as a one-time sign up perk. This is a rip-off. These people often make hundreds and even thousands of dollars on one single player every month. The moderator of the Rake Rebate Review site does a great job answering questions and checking the credentials of affiliates. I'm listed in the forum and you can contact me through the Rake Rebate page at www.onlinepokermentors.com I offer rake back at EuroBet, Empire, Battlefield, Full Tilt, a PokerRoom skin and a few others as well as a few sites that don't allow public advertising.

One last thing - a lot of players don't know they are earning VIP points when they play. Check out your site and see if you've earned points, which you can often redeem for entries into free tournaments or various other poker stuff at their gift shops.

A One-Way Ticket to Pokerville?

2005-08-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

There were several things that led to me becoming a professional poker player, but the most important determining factor was this: all my jobs up to that point in my life had sucked. I had a paper route in the 6th grade and from then on it was all pretty much all down-hill in the employment arena. By the time most people had settled on a career I was in-between social work jobs and going to temp agencies when I ran out of money for food and rent. Among other places I ended up on an assembly line at a chemical factory, scrubbing the hot-dog machine at Six Flags and stuffing pamphlets for AT&T. Tedious, mind-numbing, low-paying jobs that often required a scratchy, ill-fitting suit or a plastic blue hat. What looked like 13 year-old kids were starting to become my managers. To leave this kind of employment wasn't difficult.

After several years in a dead-end social work job I managed to scrape up a $10,000 bank roll. I had been playing poker and fancied myself a pretty good player and had moved up to $20-40 Hold'em so I thought, why not try it for a year. What do I have to lose?
It's a lot easier to buy a one way ticket when you have nothing of value waiting for you upon your return. I had no girlfriend, no kids and a job I found impossible to take seriously.

I bought a 2000 Maxima almost totally on credit and hit the road, determined to make a living playing poker. I never wanted to work for anybody ever again. It wasn't hard for me to leave, but I wonder has anybody ever left something of serious value to become a professional poker player? I haven't bumped into them on my travels, but I'm sure there is a CEO or 2 out there who have their story to tell.

Or maybe not.