Goal Number One When Playing for a Living

Find a girlfriend with a good job. This is the first goal of any male heterosexual who aspires to be a professional poker player. OK you will need to play good poker and manage your money well, but invariably you will lose money at some point. You will lose a lot of money. In fact you will lose a lot of money all at once. In addition you will also lose a lot of money over a long period of time. It happens. So what then?

In the middle of a bad streak you need the kindness and loving support of a female companion. This beautiful woman should be understanding and compassionate. She will smile and say, "Things will turn around soon. Those idiots can't get lucky forever. I'll pay the rent this month. I'm going to work now. I'll get some groceries during my lunch break. Give me a good-luck kiss."

In order to soothe your troubled nerves she will prepare home-cooked meals and bend her pliable hardbody into all kinds of accommodating positions during love-making. Ahh, so where do you find this woman? What kind of woman with a good job would date a professional poker player?

This is the kind of woman you are looking for:

Lady X: Dad I just met a real nice guy and we started dating.
Dad: Oh really? That's nice honey. What's he do for a living?
Lady X: He plays poker.
Dad: Oh good. That's a relief. I thought you were going to say he was a drug dealer like that last loser you dated.
Lady X: Oh no, I kissed a lot of frogs to get to this Prince.

You see it is important to find a woman that has dated the worst kind of man and in comparison you will look like gold. When you first meet a girl inquire as to what her previous boyfriends did for a living. If she answers any of the following you might have a shot:

1. Drug Dealer
2. Cow-hide puller
3. Chuck E. Cheese Rat
4. Serial Killer

Remember being a poker player is about sound economical decisions. If a woman wants to date you in large part because you are a professional poker player then she has serious problems. This is OK. Use this to your advantage. When you win the WSOP you can dump her. Then you will have plenty of time and resources to search the world for your soulmate.