Wish I Wrote This

June 09, 2006
Moronic Party Poker Chat Translated
Here's a little snippet from some actual Party Poker chat. What happened before this was some guy (we'll call him Donkey 1) put a supposed bad beat on another guy (Donkey2) and the other guy's friend (Donkey 3) joined in, as did a random 2+2er. I thought I'd paste the chat here, unedited, and then translate it for you. Actual text in black, translation in red.
Donkey2: unreal, nh (Way to bad beat me dumbass.)
Donkey1: tx (Ship it.)
Donkey3: u played that hand well lol (I wouldn’t know a well-played hand if it bit me in the ass but I'll still make a sarcastic remark to belittle someone who plays almost as badly as I do.)
Donkey1: I know (Ship it.)
Donkey2: yeah, ure supposed to chase that's good poker (I'm not mentally capable of understanding any complex poker strategy so I'll just assume that it's a mistake whenever someone puts money in without the best hand and, at the same time, use selective memory to forget that I put in four bets with a bad two pair on the river when I could have gotten away with only losing two.)
Donkey1: I had pot odds (I don't really know what pot odds are, but I won the pot so I must have had them.)
Donkey2: lol, no u didn’t fish (I don't know what pot odds are either but I lost the pot so you must not have had them.)
Donkey3: ha, he had pot odds, 5-1 on a fourouter lol (I'm too stupid to realize that because my friend put in 4 big bets on the river with two pair when it couldn't possibly be good, his opponent, who was really getting 6.5-1 with 6 outs, had more than the correct implied odds to call the turn.)
Random 2+2 Donkey: stop making fun of him, he can play however he wants, its his money (I read in a book that was written in 1985 about live-action play that making fun of people is a bad idea so I'm just going to assume that the same is true 20 years later online)
Donkey2: yeah, i don't want to chsae this fish off. keep playing fish.(I agree with this guy, making fun of bad players is a bad idea, so I'll do it some more.)
(45 minutes later Donkey1 cashes out a decent stack)
Random 2+2 Donkey: see, youre insults scared him off.

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