Sunday, February 12, 2006

For the Ladies

I'm sure a lot of the ladies are interested in what I do when I'm not crushing the poker tables for huge sums of money so I'd like to take this time to tell you a little bit about myself.

I'm almost 40, often sick with a sinus infection and I have a very strong lack of interest in most things. I usually have a sink full of dirty dishes. My diet consists primarily of oatmeal, Ramen noodles and things I find in the neighborhood. Most of my time is spent either contemplating the Nature of Existence or Speculating about Important Matters. I will become irritable if disturbed when I am involved with my deep reveries.

I've never voted, don't plan to and I have not bought new clothes in 5 years. Not even socks.

Speaking of socks I've worn black socks with shorts as a fashion statement long before it was so popular with the septuagenarian crowd.

My roommate is a Metro-Sexual and I have posted his picture here. A Metro-Sexual is a straight guy that dresses and acts like a gay guy. Well, after a few drinks the lines sometimes get blurred between gay and straight, but let's just say he is a kind and generous guy. The photo posted here was from a trip to Mexico, a few days after we met.

I know the complete silence from you shy ladies is ready to erupt so please send me a photo and the time you will be in Phoenix and I will check my schedule. I should tell you up front that I am not easy, I like Chinese food and a thoughtful gift such as chocolates, flowers or a new pair of black socks is always appreciated.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I'm sure a lot of the ladies are interested in what I do when I'm not crushing the poker tables..."

Mighty shy ladies, too, judging by the flow of comments!

Mr. Chips said...

Indeed they are shy.

The floodgates will open soon enough, releasing a tidal wave of woman-lust.

It is inevitable.